She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
