I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He passed out mid-signature
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
