What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize