I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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