That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
