Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
