My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I look better un-naked...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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