you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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