We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
