U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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