so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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