I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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