Dude my mom stole all your condoms
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
