Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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