You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
