she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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