Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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