I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
