Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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