I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
