he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
