dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sober January is a disaster.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
