This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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