ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
