I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
