the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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