matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
