I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
