Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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