I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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