I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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