Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
