I saw his package. It spoke to me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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