Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He literally asked permission to hit on me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
