It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
