dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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