he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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