She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
