my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You are a genius and a whore.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize