Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
