you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
