I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
