he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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