never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
