I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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