He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
