Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
