so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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