That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
