my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
