why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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