I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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