Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
