I think i sorta joined a cult last night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
