just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize