i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
