Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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