fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
