We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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