He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
