I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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