'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
