I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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