it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
