Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
