Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
